Each weekend, after hours of toil

Up to my armpits in shampoo and scorn

I drag myself from my bed before dawn

Provided the car has water and oil

My Thermos and combs are all packed

I remember my scissors and brushes

Troops yelping, excited, in spite of my hushes

Don’t forget, its before dawn has cracked

The neighbours must think I'm quite barmy

While they are still trying to sleep

I set out amid bedlam, while trying to creep

With my black woolly canine army

I arrive at my destination

And unload the troops and equipment

You see to manoeuvre this shipment

Takes strength skill and great dedication

I spend hours preparing one "soldier"

I march it around for the "top brass"

A triangle, then up and down on the grass

(No wonder I'm looking much older)

If lucky, we return decorated

With rosette and maybe a prize

(No, don't get excited - nothing of any size)

Or back through the traffic frustrated

The motorway noisy and crowded

I just want to go home and sleep

The troops are now tired and don't make a peep

Though noisy when quiet was needed

At last the homestead is sighted

Troops alerted start singing and humming

Long suffering neighbours must hear us coming

For miles, and they must be delighted!?*

"That mad woman's back with her poodles

You know the ones that are always barking

She's back and she'll mess up the parking

How many has she got? Must be oodles"

Who cares what they think? Not me - Not at all

It's really a great life you know

They should all get a life or somewhere to go

So bubbles and fluff to them all!!

Elaine Ward